We are sorry for the lack of updates. Honestly, it's been a miracle that we've gotten through the week.
And, yes, it has been almost a week since our last post.
The subdural drain fell out…let's see, can't remember which day...someday this week. They stitched her up and the fluid built back up. But not as tight as before. It's still squishy which is a good thing. She is still having a bit of a temperature when she is coming off the tylenol and motrin (sp?). They still have no clue as to why she has a temperature. Baffled.
Anyhoo, I went back to teaching on Monday. Amazing to be back connecting with students and seeing the staff. A sense of normalcy and a huge source of strength. Megan has been in the hospital with Meara for let's see…9 days now. She is so strong. She is the strongest woman I know. And not a day goes by that I haven't reminded myself just how lucky I am that she chose me. How lucky I am that I have her...navigating this treacherous journey.
I took today off because we thought we were bringing Meara home. But alas, her temperature wouldn't let us. So, after consulting with neurosurgery we are scheduled to go home tomorrow. We'll see if it happens. If it does we'll celebrate…but no sooner.
The plan at home: two weeks of IV antibiotics. Check her temp twice a day. If her temp hits 103 we are back to the hospital. If Meara's body doesn't reabsorb the fluid in her head after two weeks then we will readmit her for a shunt (another surgery). So this is what we wish for: antibiotics to clear up this imaginary "non existent" infection so it will bring down the mystery temperature and also help the fluid in her head dissipate. So that we can celebrate Christmas at home as a family and not back in the hospital.
Today was the lowest point. But tomorrow is another day…another opportunity to turn this all around.
I am so thankful for friends. Thankful for Melissa, Jan, Olga, James, Suzanne, Lisa, Barbara, Shelley, Kathryn, Anna, Holli, Dana, Brittany…and all of the staff that have reached out supporting us with love, hope, and meals. I've leaned on so many people this week at work. I am sure I've forgotten to mention more of you here. I am so thankful for all of you. Thankful also for my Mom who has been such trooper taking care of Ainsley while I go to work and the hospital. She has been here almost a month now. Thank you Mom for being there for us.
Ainsley has been greeting me at the door at night when I get home from the hospital. She runs into my arms. She bear hugs me with her tiny frame and strong hands. It's almost as if she were built for this journey as well. She's wearing through the same gears. I love her so much. One day she'll look up to her big sister and remember through all stories how we journeyed through this together…all of us. We made it. Wow, what a year.
Walking outside in -3 degrees wearing boots made for rough asphalt in ice, snow, wet…whatever the elements could possibly throw our way. In the background, you think…is this a metaphor? Are we in training? Am I driven to persuade myself that it couldn't possibly get any tougher and that if I can make it through this that I'll finally be able to say I've made it. But then again…is there ever dry land? I don't think so. I think that life is full of challenges and struggle. And sometimes you are on the front lines…and you get bloodied and you realize you just have to fight for it. Fight for it. Keep on going and never give up. No matter how tired you are or how bad it hurts. Maybe you win the battle, maybe you lose one. But there is a overarching purpose that demands determination and resolve.
We've still got some fight…
Let's see if we can get our family under the same roof. Let's see if we can rest our eyes and warm our feet together…
I want this. I need this. I will fight for this.
As always…all of our love and gratitude…knowing that we wouldn't be this far without the help, love, support, and strength of so many of you,
Aaron & Megan