Need to speak. My heart is broken and my soul searching.
For lots of reasons I struggle each day. The list is long. Starts with lack of sleep, then the constant kick in the face from watching Meara battle epilepsy every night. Then the usual things parents worry about. General well being of the girls...school, friendships, normal stuff.
Every Thursday night we go to Noodles for dinner. Just me and the girls after dance. Megan works late Thursday nights. I’ve noticed most nights the server who brings our food is the same gal. Young. High school. She has 15-20 scars up and down both arms. Cutting. I want to tell her she is loved. It is in that moment that I know that I shouldn’t reach out. And I don’t. Not my place. But I do pray that she feels God’s love and that she realizes that she is worthy.
People are hurting. All around us. I look at the bigger picture, the massive collection of all of us and I see such anger and anxiety. I see sadness, hiding behind hopeless nights.
But there is so much more. There is love and grace. There is forgiveness and rest. Darkness is easy in this world. You could be surrounded by light and still find yourself in the depths. The whisper of despair can grab you by the throat and drag you for miles. It could be a relationship, the news, a personal tragedy, loss, or maybe a chemical of short supply.
All I know is that I see it, I feel it. Deeply. And for what it’s worth I can’t ignore it. Be it as it may, regardless of intervention or anything of the sort, I believe that we weren’t meant to do this alone. Which is why the world hurts so much. I don’t have the right thing to say. Or any answers. But if I look around I honestly believe that there is an army waiting to rescue us. The thing is, the army isn’t us. It’s something bigger than us. I’d like to believe that the army is forgiveness, grace, love. Realizing that no matter our personal beliefs, political aspirations, or personality that what unites us is all that matters.
So to the gal who kindly delivers our warm meal with your smile I say you are loved. You are worthy. You matter. More than you know. A lot more. To my wife and daughters, to all the people out there, I say hold on. You are loved. You matter. More than you will ever know.
For lots of reasons I struggle each day. The list is long. Starts with lack of sleep, then the constant kick in the face from watching Meara battle epilepsy every night. Then the usual things parents worry about. General well being of the girls...school, friendships, normal stuff.
Every Thursday night we go to Noodles for dinner. Just me and the girls after dance. Megan works late Thursday nights. I’ve noticed most nights the server who brings our food is the same gal. Young. High school. She has 15-20 scars up and down both arms. Cutting. I want to tell her she is loved. It is in that moment that I know that I shouldn’t reach out. And I don’t. Not my place. But I do pray that she feels God’s love and that she realizes that she is worthy.
People are hurting. All around us. I look at the bigger picture, the massive collection of all of us and I see such anger and anxiety. I see sadness, hiding behind hopeless nights.
But there is so much more. There is love and grace. There is forgiveness and rest. Darkness is easy in this world. You could be surrounded by light and still find yourself in the depths. The whisper of despair can grab you by the throat and drag you for miles. It could be a relationship, the news, a personal tragedy, loss, or maybe a chemical of short supply.
All I know is that I see it, I feel it. Deeply. And for what it’s worth I can’t ignore it. Be it as it may, regardless of intervention or anything of the sort, I believe that we weren’t meant to do this alone. Which is why the world hurts so much. I don’t have the right thing to say. Or any answers. But if I look around I honestly believe that there is an army waiting to rescue us. The thing is, the army isn’t us. It’s something bigger than us. I’d like to believe that the army is forgiveness, grace, love. Realizing that no matter our personal beliefs, political aspirations, or personality that what unites us is all that matters.
So to the gal who kindly delivers our warm meal with your smile I say you are loved. You are worthy. You matter. More than you know. A lot more. To my wife and daughters, to all the people out there, I say hold on. You are loved. You matter. More than you will ever know.
