I was watching clips of the remake of A Star is Born. I haven't seen it in the theater. There are many lines from the movie that resonate but it is the song Shallow I want to address.
I also wonder if there is something else that we are all searching for in this modern world.
"In the bad times I fear myself..." How many of us feel this way? More than some of us might want to admit. I am aware of the plot line. The addiction. Suicide.
This month is epilepsy awareness month. Every day is epilepsy awareness in our family. Even MacKenna could explain to the average person what a seizure is and what it looks like. She's four years old.
I realize that there is a myriad of reasons why we are affected by constant stress and worry in our family. But we aren't the only ones. And you don't have to have a child with uncontrolled epilepsy to be affected deeply by the woes of the world.
Some of us act in certain ways trying to cope. Some write, create, read, exercise, dedicate themselves to self care and healthy lifestyle. Others take to the bottle and pills. I bet many just fill that void with stuff. Material possessions, accumulation of wealth and status.
Nothing will mask the truth though, and that is why we are not meant to do this alone. God did not put us here on this earth to walk in solitude. Solitude has it's purpose. But it isn't meant to amplify the demons inside. It is meant for silence and reflection.
We truly need each other. And I don't necessarily mean in a tribal way. We need the ability to see ourselves for what we are. And just being honest, when I look into the mirror I don't always see the truth. I tend to see something far more broken that I actually am. Don't get me wrong, I am broken. I am imperfect and less than. But what I see is not necessarily accurate. This is why we need each other. To remind each other that we all have value and worth. That we matter to someone.
For anyone out there who is struggling, finding that solitude isn't what you need right now, please know that you are not the only one who feels this way. I am on the same journey.
"Tell me girl, are you happy in this modern world..."
One day, my hope is that I won't fear myself in the bad times.
Peace, Love, Rest,
Aaron
