Hospital Christmas

 Dear Friends,

Well, you probably expected that this would involve a medical update and you are correct.  I also wanted to present a simple request.  

First, Meara has an infection called staphylococcus capitis. Doctors are pretty sure that it entered her system during her cranioplasty a year and a half ago.  Apparently it is a slow growing bacteria which is the reason it took until now for her to experience pain/symptoms of the infection.  It is a common infection involving prosthetics (shunt). It is also the least resistant to antibiotics so that is a win.  Meara has been in the hospital since Sunday afternoon (12/13).  She had her shunt removed Monday night and a subdural drain installed in the meantime.  Tomorrow morning (Tuesday) we have another ultrasound to check on the fluid pockets in the abdomen.  If they are gone (from treatment with antibiotics) then we can schedule the next surgery to reinstall her shunt.  Today marks day eight in the hospital.  If I were a betting man, after talking with Infectious Diseases and Neurosurgery today, I’d say we have a 50/50 chance of being home by Christmas.  If we do she’ll come home with the PICC line to finish out her IV antibiotics.

I want to express my deepest gratitude to all the families and friends who have supported us during this unexpected hospital stay.  We are used to seasonal flu restrictions at the hospital but covid ramps it up a bit.  We couldn’t have maintained our sanity without the help with childcare, the meals, hospital decorations, and the phone calls, texts, and well wishes.

Here is my ask.  I hope with deepest sincerity that this is not a controversial ask but a very simple act of grace.  I think we can all agree that our society has been through the ringer over and over again during 2020, and before.  It is very easy to get into a space where we compete to see who has struggled the most, experienced the most pain, or deserves the most help.

Let me speak purely from my heart.  Everyone needs help.  Everyone needs grace.  Everyone needs love and support.  You never know what is behind someone’s curtain or what struggle they are facing.  It’s all over the map.  It might be mental health, finances, marriage, medical, etc. And no one is immune to needing a smile, a hug, a meal, a loving word.

It’s easy to resort to anger.  And to be clear anger can be useful at times.  But I’ve spent enough time being angry about things in my life to know that I have found more peace by forgiving, by loving, by taking the time to get know people rather than resort to quick judgment and assumption.

We all have our individual life experiences that are valid and true.  And it does shape our perspective and our thinking.  All I ask is that before you think of the world in a “us versus them” lens maybe instead think “how do I develop a positive and meaningful relationship with this individual?”  Because you don’t truly know what their story is until you get to know them.

This hospital floor is filled with all types of families and stories.  But epilepsy doesn’t discriminate.  And all of us on this floor have one common goal: keep our children alive and thriving.  It’s that simple, and yet that complicated too.

So, this holiday season, this covid season, this dumpster fire of a year, maybe smile first, say a kind word first, before getting into what divides us.  You never know, you might realize you have more in common with each other than you think.  

We love you.  We support you.  And acknowledging that we are in the midst of possibly the biggest rise in mental health crises in a generation (don’t quote me on that) go easy on people.  Personally, I respond better to a smile than a harsh word.

Happy Holidays Friends,

Aaron