I need to give an update on Meara. And then Megan and I will focus on next steps.
On Thursday morning Ainsley woke Megan and I up a little after 6:00am and informed us that Meara was having a seizure and that she couldn't wake Meara up. When Megan and I realized that this was not her normal seizure status and she wasn't coming out of it we gave her an emergency med. Her seizure likely lasted 7-10 minutes. We called 911, which is what the doctors had told us to do when administering the emergency med, and Meara was transported to Exempla Hospital by ambulance. She was admitted to the ER and stabilized by the doctors. After a few hours Meara was able answer the doctors' questions. After a discussion of next steps with her neurosurgery and neurology docs at Childrens she was sent to Children's for a MRI. Her seizure was violent. Really, its the best way to describe it. The only way that we got her seizure to stop is by giving her the med.
I am struggling to talk about it out loud. We are now at a new normal that quite frankly, Megan and I always hoped would never happen. We don't know next steps yet. I've been sleeping in Meara's bed with her and this will be the case, at least until we can figure out a way to have a definitive alert system set up.
I deactivated my facebook account yesterday. I need to focus on intimacy with my family. I have not been the husband that I want to be for Megan. She deserves better. I am a shell of a person and Thursday was the last thing. I need to focus on improving myself and learning how to be stronger for my wife. It is time. Especially with this new normal for Meara. For too long I've been distracted and just hoping things would get better. I have to get back to simpler things that are most important to me. I am available face to face, by phone, text, or email (firstname.lastname@example.org).
I love you all.